If you are a youngster and, more importantly, a bachelor looking for a rented flat or a house in any city, I am sure you must have invariably encountered the disheartening sight of these boards declaring “Families Only” or “Bachelors Not Allowed” outside the gates of several houses and housing societies.
I cannot explain how these boards hung outside hurt your self-esteem. It seems as if we bachelors are the only villains in the world out to destroy society’s social fabric.
It feels as though society has collectively branded bachelors as the ultimate disruptors, unwelcome in their carefully maintained sanctuaries. But why is this stigma attached to single tenants?
Many of us have faced the frustrating experience of being turned away by landlords who prefer families over individuals. Why do we see these ‘derogatory’ or ‘insulting’ words written on boards outside houses??
It’s disheartening to see these signs and to feel judged without reason. But why do these restrictions exist?
I think we have to face these disrespectful words for one simple reason — the general conception of the landlords about bachelors is that they are noisy, undisciplined, messy, and will create a nuisance.
It is these prejudices that make it difficult for a single man or even a woman to move to an unknown city or a rented house, howsoever educated or disciplined he/she may be.
Every bachelor longs to move out of the strict discipline of his house to an unknown place of work or even further studies and fulfill his long-cherished dream of living independently, and I was no exception.
Friends, I will cite my experience of how the dreams of a bachelor who wished to live a decent and independent life in a rented house were shattered by the ‘cruel’ landlords and friends.
I think most of us must have experienced this at one stage or another and would certainly relate to it as one of our own.
How I wished (as most of us wish so), I could run away from the ever-nagging instructions of my parents –
>“Take your studies seriously for once at least, or you have decided to fail this year”,
>“The neighbor’s son scored 98% in the last exam, and look at your marks”,
>“Don’t be late at night and no partying”,
>“Clean your room”,
>“See how your books are scattered all over the room, put them in the right place”…
And so on. These were some expert advice/instructions given to me by my parents, and sometimes my ‘ chamcha’ elder brother or sister too would join them in the chorus.
I think all of you too must have been showered with these ‘valuable’ instructions, day in and day out.
I had just finished my studies and was on the lookout for an opportunity to move to another place for work and prayed to the Almighty to help me out.
At last, He listened to my pleas and sent me a much-awaited chance to move out for work. I felt as if I was on cloud nine and was dancing with joy (internally, of course) as if I had conquered the entire world and was thrilled to fly away from the ‘cage’ called a house.I think every one of us thinks so.
The picture looked very rosy, and I was filled with joy as I got my appointment letter from a company in Ahmedabad. Wasting no time, I began preparations and started packing my bags, of course, under the ‘expert’ guidance and instructions of Dos and Don’ts of my mother and elder sister.
The Dream of Independence
I started daydreaming and listed the things I would do while staying independently. I wish to share some items in the list, that I think will be common for all of us:
1. Partying with friends
2. Eat and drink as I wish
3. Trash my place
4. Will come home as late as I want
5. Bring my friends and girlfriends to my place without restrictions.
6. And so on…….
My happiness knew no bounds, but in my excitement at living independently, I did not even once have an inkling of the numerous problems associated with single persons, the major being — looking for a rented place by the ‘ b’ word’.
Alas, I never anticipated that all my dreams would be shattered and the lists I had prepared would go to the dustbin.
Anyway, let us continue with my journey. Filled with joy but with a shade of sadness on my face, I left my home in Surat, reached Ahmedabad with my bag and baggage, and checked into a budget hotel till I got a ‘dream house’ of my own.
I spent the night dreaming about the things I would do in my independent house.
The next day I started scouting for a place that would be close to my place of work, be of the right size, fit my budget, and have a reasonably clean surrounding.
Believe me, friends, very soon I realized that being a single person looking for such a place is too good to be true.
We bachelors have to face a lot of problems in our daily lives, but according to me, finding a rented house is the most important and problematic of them all.
A Universal Struggle
For many young people, finding a rented house becomes one of the most challenging aspects of moving to a new city. It’s not just about the physical space; it’s about the emotional toll of facing constant judgment and rejection.
So, my fellow sufferers, I leave it at that but I promise that in Part II I will share with you the problems we have to face regularly and how I was interviewed by a ‘landlord’ before he said no with a capital ‘N’.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. If you’ve faced similar struggles, share your stories with me, and I might feature them in my next article.
See you soon…..
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